Sekhem: Finding Direction and Opening to All Love

Caregiving and the Hope for a Gentle Passing

Sekhem teachings with Patrick Zeigler.

Patrick’s experience: “On this occasion I was facilitating, working with four other people as well. On previous occasions, yes, I went into the dark myself. That was part of my idea for doing this, and we have created a very good facility.”

“We also have a space at home, and we have held a few sessions there. Because of the situation with my mother, we have not encouraged that as much. For now, we prefer people to go to the other facility. My wife is really the one providing full-time care for my mother. My mother is almost a hundred.”

“I do not think she is going to make it to a hundred, though. She is slowly declining now.”

Sharing: “My grandfather died just before his hundredth birthday. He had all his faculties; mentally, he was fine. Everything was good until the last six months. Then he went downhill very quickly, and he died in his sleep.”

Response: “I think my mother will probably be like that. We will see. We hope it will be something gentle like that.”

Beginning with What Is Needed

Begin by asking what the person would like to receive and what has brought them to the session. Here, the request was for life advice.

Sharing: “I have been going regularly to a teacher’s classes and workshops for a few years. I also attended another workshop before coming to yours. Your workshop was really amazing. I managed to connect with the energy fairly quickly, by myself at home. It does not take much. I listen to that one song we played at the workshop.”

“But honestly, Patrick, I feel stuck. I feel stuck in every aspect of my life. I feel as though I am not making progress in any way, shape, or form.”

“I have spent many years looking after my child, who is autistic. He is doing well now. He is taking off, spreading his wings, doing all those things. But I feel empty. I feel as though there is nothing here for me. No one would care if I were gone.”

“It is not depression in the sense of wanting to kill myself. I do not feel that I want to kill myself or anything. I am not depressed. But I keep asking: Why am I here? What is this?”

“My job is so busy and so meaningless in the scheme of things. You turn up to work, and nobody really cares about you. You are just a number. I have a very small circle of friends, and I find it really, really hard to make connections outside that circle.”

“I honestly feel that if I were not here, no one would give a shit. No one would care. I feel stuck in every aspect. I feel I am not growing spiritually. I am broke, absolutely broke. I am not earning enough money. Everything is wrong. Do you know what I am saying?”

Response: “I know. I have been there. I have been broke.”

Question: “Are you in a relationship? Are you taking care of your son on your own?”

Sharing: “No, I am not in a relationship, and I would like to be in one. Yes, I am taking care of my son on my own. I have been on my own throughout those years.”

“I do not know whether you remember me from the workshop, but I want to find a husband. I do not want just a partner. I want someone who will make the commitment and be there for the long haul. Dating where I live is a nightmare.”

Patrick’s experience: “I remember some of my dating days. That was before being spiritual was popular. Women were not interested in me because I was meditating and was not interested in certain other things.”

Sharing: “I am self-aware. I know I am odd, and I know I can be a bit forthright. I thought I would come and see you because the workshop moved me along quite a lot. But I think I need a little boost.”

“Although I see my regular teacher in class every couple of weeks, it is not the same energy. It is not the same.”

Honesty, Emptiness, and Meaningful Work

Sharing: “I do not know what I am doing wrong, because I think I have done everything right. I think about each decision. I have worked hard. I have been honest. I have never cheated on anyone. There is this whole karmic idea that what you put out is what you get back, but I have got a whole lot of emptiness back.”

Response, playfully: “Maybe you need to be a bad girl.”

Sharing: “I am considering it. Do not get me wrong, I have had opportunities to cheat. Friends’ husbands have asked me outright, and I have always said, ‘No, I do not do that to other women.’”

Response: “Yes, you do not do that. But you are also talking about your job. You probably spend more time in your job than in the rest of your life, and you do not enjoy it.”

Sharing: “No, but we all have to eat.”

Consider whether there is something enjoyable that could also become paid work. The question is not only what work is available, but what the person actually loves and what interests they have.

Question: “Are there things you can do that you enjoy and can get paid for?”

Sharing: “I do not think so.”

There are many possibilities now. Younger people are finding ways to earn money through a wide range of activities. Begin with the question: What is it that you really love? What interests do you have?

Sharing: “I am a bit creative. I like looking after my son. I like being a mum. Beyond that, I do not know.”